What is Your Child’s Love Language?
Are you at a loss about how to connect with your child? Do you feel that you have tried multiple different things to connect? Including giving hugs, giving verbal reassurance, spending extra time together, having talks with your child, etc. yet still nothing? No connection. And potentially seeing problem behaviors arise that you have never seen before. You are not alone in this scenario. Many caregivers are in this boat.
The book, The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively by Gary Chapman, Ph.D. and Ross Campbell, M.D. explains how to communicate love effectively to your child through the child’s preferred love language. Their theory is that we express and experience love in the same ways. However, some prefer one way more than others. So, it is important to identify your child’s love language so you can communicate your love in this way. This will allow your child to genuinely feel your love. For example, all the hugs and kisses may not be as effective for a child that experiences love through receiving gifts.
It is still important for a child to receive love in all the languages; however, it is important to know your child’s top choice out of the 5 different languages. This can help strengthen your relationship. So, how do you determine your child’s primary love language? Pay attention to how your child shows love. This usually tells you how they want to receive love.
So, what are the 5 love languages or the ways in which your child may speak and/or ask for love:
Physical attention – this child loves cuddling, hugs, tickles, etc. If your child is constantly in your space, then this is a good sign that this may be your child’s primary love language.
Presents! – Does your child care how presents are wrapped or remember a gift that someone gave them in the past? Or maybe your child has difficulty throwing out things? These are all signs that receiving gifts may be your child’s primary love language.
Loves to talk or loves words of affirmation – If your child loves to receive praise from you or loves to share news then this is a sign that this is your child’s primary love language.
You do it for me! – Your child may ask you to make lunch for them, clean up for them, tie their shoe, etc. This is a sign that this is your child’s primary love language.
Spend time with me! – If your child is constantly asking you to do things and to watch them play, draw, etc. then this is a sign that their primary love language is to spend time with you.
For additional information on how to express specific love languages to your child, please visit https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/love-languages-of-children/.
