How to Teach Self Motivation by Using Positive Self-Talk
Do you give yourself positive pep talks throughout the day to increase your motivation to complete a task, handle a change, remain calm, etc.? This is an important behavior to use to help oneself get through daily life challenges and to maintain a positive outlook.
This behavior is very useful to teach children to help them in all areas of development. Research shows that when children engage in the behavior of positive self-talk there is improvement in the areas of academic performance, a reduction in anxiety, and an increase in self-esteem (Manning, B. H., While, C. S., & Daugherty, M. (1994); Kamann, M. P. & Wong, B. Y. (1993); Zastoney, T. R., Kirschenbaum, D. S., & Mag, A L. (1986); Burnett, P. C. (1994)). It is also very helpful to use positive self-talk to motivate oneself in completing various tasks. Positive self-talk is also key to helping one keep a positive mindset. So, how do we teach children to engage in this behavior?
To encourage children to engage in the behavior of using positive self-talk, first we need to teach them to be aware of the possible negative automatic thoughts one might be having. These are usually all or nothing statements that include assumptions. For example, “I never do anything right” or “I always get the wrong answer.” If children say these statements out loud as well, then it is a great time to talk to them about positive self-talk. Then help them think of a positive way of saying the statement. For instance, “It is ok to be wrong, I will try again” or “I do a lot of things right” (and name the things that are done correctly). It may also be helpful to talk to children about the benefits of positive self-talk to prevent any skepticism one might have. (See the paragraph above for some benefits.)
Next, also explain that turning negative thoughts into positive self-talk takes practice. The website, Therapy Tree (https://therapytreeaz.com/positive-self-talk-for-kids/) discusses an effective 3-step process to teach children to help them change their thinking behavior so that it is not an overwhelming task. First, take a deep breath; say “stop, relax” (either out loud or in your head), and then say something positive to yourself, such as “I can do this.”
It is also important to model positive self-talk so that your children hear and see you using this behavior too. Caregivers are the best role models for their children so what better way for them to learn this skill then to see and hear you using it as well!
