Disappointment: Helping Your Kids Cope

As a school employee, a community therapist and a individual who has experienced multiple graduations and celebrations of milestones, I spend a lot of my weeks thinking of and emphasizing with the many children who are missing out on things. Through a phone conversation with one my parents, I listened to their sadness and that of their child’s who would be missing his first grade graduation before moving to a new school. Through a tele-psych session, I watched as tears streamed down my clients face, as she talked about her thoughts regarding missing prom, senior trip and graduation.

Kids of all ages are dealing with future celebrations and milestone being cancelled left and right, and with it many of their hopes, dreams and ideals.

As parents, you may be sharing these same feelings or alternatively, feeling that a cancelled event pales in comparison to the realities of todays. Regardless of your own feelings, it is helpful to check your own emotions and provide support for your kids.

What does this look like?

1. Name and validate your child’s emotions. This helps them to understand what the are feeling, as well as allows them to feel valued and listened to.

2. Don’t try to fix it, ( I know really hard!)

3. Don’t make any promises. At this point, we don’ t know what the future holds, and promising for makeup dates or future plans can possibly lead to more frustration and disappointment.

4. Talk about positive things they can do

   1. Zoom/Googlemeet/facetime parties with friends

   2. Netflix parties to watch movies with friends/family

   3. Improvised birthday parties at home

   4. At home graduations, concerts, moving up ceremonies.

   5. Streaming parties

   6. Future vacation poster plans (for cancelled vactions)

5. Lead by example.

6. Provide patience and love.

-Emily Martin, MS