The Role of the Parent
As I was scrolling through my social media page, glazing over pictures and lengthy posts related to the coronavirus, I was halted by a simple image:
If you weren’t already aware, one of a child’s first modes of learning is that of observational learning, in which a child learns and imitates by listening and watching others. This type of learning has been found to start as young as 21 days old, where children were shown to imitate facial expressions and mouth movements.
At this time, we have a virus spreading across the globe, which is coming to us through various forms of communication, within the blink of an eye. Many individuals, who have never truly experienced severe emotions are beginning to gain insight into feelings such as anxiety, depression and fear. Children are hearing words about quarantine and hospitals, as well as listening to stories of death and illness. Naturally, they will be confused, and naturally they will look to us for reassurance and guidance. Therefore, it is important to care for your own mental health, so that you can ensure the health of your children and family.
I’ll say it again: You can not pour from an empty cup. It is not selfish to refill your own cup so that you can pour into others. During this time especially, it is essential.
So, how do you do this? Start with some basics.
Keep Calm
We often engage in two mental health traps: catastrophizing (worst case scenerio) and overgeneralizing (applying one experience, to all experiences). Try to catch yourself before going down these roads and use verified information to “fact check yourself.” Ask yourself if your thoughts are based in facts, what those facts say, and if your thoughts will be helpful to you in the situation
Use trusted sources to “fact check”
Make sure you are getting updates from reputable sources, such as Center for Disease Control, World Health Organization, and Center for Study of Traumatic Stress.
Be open and honest about your feelings
If you are feeling scared, sad, anxious, etc., be open about it. Research conducted by UCLA professor Matthew Liberman showed that naming your feelings makes them less intense. Encourage your kids to engage in the conversation with their own feelings. Validate them and reassure them in an honest and calm way.
Get back to the basics
Focus on sleep, hydration, nutrition, exercise, fresh air and connecting with trusted loved ones. Engage in mindfulness and breathing exercises. Write down one thing you are thankful for everyday
Times like these can make life seem scary and overwhelming. However, we have the power to take control of each situation and show our kids how to remain optimistic and resilient in this ever-changing world. What will you do with the opportunity you have been given today?
-Emily Martin, MS, Psychotherapist
